the woman in me

the years fly by. faded, these small marks of the years and age, show the me in now, the me i was before and the me i am to be soon. what holds the future for a woman such as i? i carriy my story, in my eyes, on my lips, stamped through out my body. what brings the future for one, so unique, such as i? so unique, there is no one perosn alike, like me, close to what what i can be, or what i have been. where does time lead me? what does time want from me? the laughter, the tears. the anxienty, natural to those who have doubts, fears, certainties and desires. bring it on, bring it on! i am here, to stay. to remain unique as long as time has time to play.

photo by Victor Bentzvi, photographer, philosopher and realist. the woman in the photo is Avia Ben David.

rekindling

she gazed upwards as if in doubt of what she was about to do. walked slowly and lightly, so not to be heard. should she go up and dread her decision of sharing once again or should she just walk away? the light outside the window brought her comfort, reminded her of somewhere distant and pleasant. somewhere farway. a place where she owned her time and space. even the most doubtful of all possibilities, seemed more bearable than what she faced daily. she reached for her ipod. the sound of good music, seemed to make time move faster. she would go on about her daily chores, mumble to herself, and justify her presence in the house. she was an extremely good cook and wished she could just do that most times. nobody saw her for who she really was. her mind a mystery, a puzzle, she wished not to share. she kept her inner most thoughts to herself. one day, she would just walk away...

this photo was taken by Victor Bentzvi, an israeli photographer. he has a style of his own, worth taking a peak.

walking

when the day falls

i guess it was love,

a four letter name

small and frail,

i must think yes

just this time

this time around,

another little soul

share the silent walks,

i´m thinking out loud

i´m rambling again

at least it was

photo by nyoroko on flickr

reflections

photos by Julienne Rose

my face has lines even i hadn´t noticed before. i make faces at myself to see how funny i can look. it is a sadist form of ridiculing myself, testing the limits of my vanity. the emptiness sometimes shows more than i wish it would show. there are gray areas all over. and i do not bother to figure every waking moment of my day out. it is much too tiring and, i have found, not worth the effort in the end. answers come in their own time whether we like it or not. staring at myself... an experiment i´ve done so many times. to finally learn the lesson on the hidden mysteries we all seek. so i do not lose sleep over the trivial things. i thrive to find meaning, in places i revisit or is it... i revisit to find meaning. there must be a reasons for everything, right? NO, wrong. the reasons come in time. so i turn my back to that image i see so many times and go on about my day, knowing i will seek a different angle the next time around. my eyes are tired. for now, i prefer not to see.

reflections of sleepless night.

Runaway

Runaway
Originally uploaded by Elena Baca

my days are long, yet time is so short. the impression i have is of loss and waste, of good or bad, doesn´t matter really. it is the essence that holds my attention, keeps me moving forward, relentlessly and joyous of moments i treasure.

it is what we do that determines an outcome, not the destination of our thoughts, but the journey travelled in accomplishing the simple matters. i wonder sometimes how much of it will remain intact, how much of it will flee our memories. i´ve seen many a hard days, and much to smile about. i love and am loved by a few, which lights my way through dark and lonely nights. yes, lonely... we all carry a bit of that, no matter how much we deny it. it is in the silence i feel reassured yet, peaceful til the next morning comes.

i love it when it rains. there is something nostaligic about the rain and truly electrifying about thunder and lightning. does it not feel like time moves quicker when the clouds are in heat? does it not remind us all of how fragile we are in the midst of things. i think about that many times.

i sleep curled in my covers, my head cushioned by my pillows. they have a smell of their own, a smell of me, yesterday and everyday. how comforting it is to sleep in our own beds. i dream in colors, sometimes in black and white and accept it as a natural thing.

music to my heart.

shipyards and containers....

i´m in town... taking a breezer from being in the country... the weather is still great... it is winter here... a very light version of winter though... :P we brazilians really don´t have winters.

tomorrow i head to the docks for some photography... i´ve got this major attraction to shooting industrial zones. there´s a mystery to it... can´t explain.

if you could live forever... and could choose an age to be forever, without aging one day... what age would you choose to be. i would choose to be 40 for the rest of my life... perfect age!

realities and sensibility

i´ve got to post before heading home tonight. life is good! the move has changed a lot of things; people, place and circumstances; major perspective shift, these last few weeks. i´m happy and excited for what is to come. i have a good feeling about it all.

my pc has gone "kaput" after the move! so i´m pretty much living off of lan houses these days. great place for work... nobody to distract me!

while checking out art limited tonight and going thru my contact list. i ran again into Patrick Martin. i am so inspired by his works, i really love them. they have this abstract touch to them, but then again i can sense so much reality present in each and every photo. maybe it´s just me. people see what they can see! right? he does have work worth seeing... check him out...

back with you in a few...